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Relationship, Uncategorized

COMPATIBILITY FIGHTS THIS VALENTINE

Earlier in the 70s or the 80s it was parents who used to decide about marriages and the kids used to nod and tie the knots. The couple would get to know regarding each other after marriage or lets say even see each other for the first time during the marriage and they had wonderful relationships. They would grow old with each other and enjoy their relationship thoroughly. Read more

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My Parents Are my responsibilities!! why it is not applicable in both Gender..

It is a universal fact or accepted fact that it is boys who are deemed to take the responsibility of parents. In the Indian society the birth of boy is celebrated and a girl is celebrated with a grudge in minds. Rather it will not be an exaggeration to say that almost 100% of the brides are blessed to have baby boys and not girls. A boy is considered as an investment or asset but girls nothing more than liability.Read more

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DEAR FAMILY WHY DON’T YOU THINK MY JOB IS AS IMPORTANT AS YOURS…

Of lately I had some free time as my in laws and daughter had gone to visit my brother in laws family and my husband had to suddenly go out of station for his office meeting. I just wanted to spend some quality time with myself before heading for a matinee show. Thus I brewed some coffee for myself and sitting on the window aisle I was reading the newspaper. My favorite addiction that I had to bid adieu because of my super hectic schedule and also lack of time in spite of being a pro at multitasking. Page by page, line by line and sections by sections, I finally reached to section of matrimony.

Ahh! down to down rather all of them stated we need well-educated brides, some went to the extent of asking for convent educated brides or working brides. Irony of life men need to get educated so that they get good job and then marry a nice, beautiful, educated and working lady just to do the chores of the house and in addition if she is working and earning it’s a great show off. Desiring this is not wrong but when the society desires something but does not support it and that is wrong.

We claim equality and agree to the fact that husband and wife in a relation are at equal position. If the husband gets transfer from the job it is a deemed fact that wife will shift with him, but if the same transfer is offered to wife will the man ever shift with him. No, a lady is up the many nights preparing for a project, then gets up in the morning and does all the chores, on the day of presentation gets ready in the crisp shirt and formal pants. As she is about to set her foot out a voice comes do not go to the office as other in law or any other is not feeling well and needs to be taken to the hospital. In the entire family it is the lady who will do the needful, whereas the rest will carry on with their usual jobs. This is sad and like a movie, life does not give you second chances or miracles happen that you get selected for the promotion.

Her job promotions and aspirations are equally important, if there is a necessity or emergency someone else from the family could also take the responsibility. All I feel is that it is your family as much as hers and contribution should come from everyone. As the very base of family is one for all and all for one.

Coming to housewives or as they call stay at home moms. Even she is capable enough of achieving all heights in life but she chose to stay at home for the benefit of everyone in the family. She did not run behind her dreams rather made your dreams hers and contributed towards fulfilling your dreams. So when you ask her to leave that chores of the house to switch to work that is wrong. Her household work or taking care of kids is equally important. Respect her contribution towards the family.

We are in a gender equal society and lets practice this from our homes.

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Relationship

Surname Is The Priority Of Every Family .Then Why Should The Girl Lose Her Surname For Another Priority

In a country like India, people here are loaded with surnames which they also consider as a status symbol and priority. Surnames are extremely important for almost everything starting from school admission to filling a bank form. Surnames are mandatory. But, post marriage everything changes, a girl gets a new name, family, and surname. If the surname is the priority of every family then why should the girl lose her surname for another priority? People and society cannot impose a girl and her little one to follow the patriarchy. Many parents feel that their child should
get only his fathers surname as it is an ego factor for them.

This is where the tradition of the wife taking her husband’s surname after the marriage has taken . However modern may be the men , they almost impose the new person to attach their surnames along with her names post marriage. It is an untold rule. We always say Surname is the priority of every family.Then why should the girl lose her surname for another priority?

If you are a one who fights for their own rights then here are 3 paths that you can consider when it comes to changing your surname post marriage.

1. Embrace your given surname.
The most easier option is to keep and embrace the given name. You can simple abid the law of social and keep the surname gifted to you during your birth. The wedding is a union for 2 family and people, it has nothing to do with names. You can always carry your birth surname and avoid paper changes at various government and local places.
Another benefit of keeping your surname is, you have created a brand value of yourself. Assume, if you are a famous writer or poet people will obviously know with your birth surname, marriage is just an additional feather on the cape.

2. Add in your spouse name
The traditional name game scenario is to add family surname post- wedding. The surname is the priority of every family.Then why should the girl lose her surname for another priority?But, as a newlywed wife you are entitled to take your husband’s last name.In short, you are married to your husband and not his family. You can also do it out of love towards your spouse, you can change the important papers with your new surname.

3. Include your husband’s family name legally but also maintain your maiden surname professionally
Marriage should be considered as an association of two hearts and family. a girl post marriage must be given all rights to choose her preference regarding the surname.She has all rights to keep her maiden surname. The best possible option will be to get associated with the spouse family surname legally and keep continuing with your maiden surname professionally. This is the sure shot method to address both the families and to keep both the family happy. Having dual names does not mean having dual identities, you can always communicate to your circle of friends and colleagues.

#FLAVORSOFWORLD FLAVORSOFWORLD

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A simple Compliment made a beautiful difference to marriage life

A simple Compliment made a beautiful difference to marriage life .Everyone craves for a lovey-dovey happy relationship, it is very easy to be romantic and fun loving during courtship period. But, being married and
spending the entire life together is actually a challenging task. As a partner there are a lot of ups and unexpected downs which every couple faces. many of the things have unexpectedly and couples are usually not prepared for the worst. It is not always easy to have a blissful marriage life, the couple needs to work hard and together to make their married life happy and blessed.

If you want to have a healthy and happy marriage life, then always respect your spouse. make sure to respect their feelings and always treat the partner with love and affection. A simple Compliment made a beautiful difference to marriage life.Treat your spouse and their views equally and always lend ears to them. For a long lasting happy married life treat your spouse and their views equally  marriage, never works when the past issues are dragged. If you really care about the happiness never bring the past.

A simple Compliment made a beautiful difference to marriage life. Shower your partner with beautiful and heart touching compliments.Here are some advantages of showing partner with compliments

1. It makes you feel happy and content
A compliment is the best way to boost the happiness ration. If you appreciate the little things your partner does, it makes them feel appreciated and they continue to make you feel happy. Happiness is contagious.

2. Boosts the closeness
Compliments are extremely important to boost the closeness and overall happiness else with time couples usually take each other for granted and this can create if continued for the long term.Compliments are a great way to bring back hidden and dead affection in a relationship.

3. Best solution to increase the marriage connection
A healthy marriage requires constant work and maintenance, it is like a plant which needs to be watered every day so that it remains alive and fresh. Similarly, compliments work as a little sunshine for a happy and successful marriage life. Always make sure to notice and compliment little things. A hearty communication is a key to happy and blissful married life between the couple.

4. It feels great
Everyone likes to be complimented, A simple Compliment made a beautiful difference to marriage life. It just adds a beautiful simile to your loved ones face. It increases the overall sweetness and affection of the relationship. Compliment will make you feel good and the partner will love your thoughtfulness towards them.

5. It represents you are a team
Marriage is never a one man’s game, both husband and wife should work as a team. Compliment works as a tonic for a healthy married life. It denotes that you both are a team which is working hard to make the married life beautiful and blissful.

Always compliment your partner, never shy away from showering your loved one with a beautiful, cute and loving compliment. A single compliment can make a huge difference.

#FLAVORSOFWORLD

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HOW WILL YOU CATEGORIZE YOUR SISTER IN LAW

The doting daughter of your in laws and your husband’s sister, are of different types and can be categorized as per that. There are the sweet ones or the devil ones or with some rare quality. How so ever she may be is an integral part of your life and influences you in spite of not being your blood relative.

The different types of sister in law are as follows I hope you identify your sister in law with one of them.

1] The James Bond type: The most commonly found category of sister in law. These can be married but mostly it is the unmarried ones who belong to this troupe. She spies each and every moment of your life and could have been very easily admitted in the team of CBI for her spying skills. She watches you day and night and reports to your mother in law. You mother in law goes out of the house entrusting her the task of spying. You need to be extra cautious with these kind of sister in laws.

2] The one who fights for equal rights: This is the real cunning breed who plays the emotional cards to get all that you have example the new cell phone or the expensive watch or for that matter the latest rose gold neck piece. The best part is she manipulates and gets what she desires either new or what belonged to you.

3] The cribbing one- Well she is one of her kind, she has to point out or create some problem with everything you do. The food is never properly cooked, you are never aptly dressed, the house is not clean enough or your behavior was not good anything and everything is has some problem as per her views on it.

4] The neutral ones- Or let us put it like the diplomatic one, she maintains a balanced approach. She is friendly towards you but not very imposing, she pays visits but never involves herself in the personal matters of your or family. She is not biased towards either your in laws or your.

5] Friendly companion- You are blessed to have this type of sister in law and if you have this type of sister in law then you are indeed blessed. She is loving and caring, and it would not be an exaggeration that you cannot differentiate
between her and your own sister. You guys have plans together and she is always a big help for you.

6] The complain box- This category of sister in laws always have some complain and as they meet you the list of complains begin they have complains with their in laws, distant relatives, neighbor and any person they have met. You can only resort to silence as she continues to open her complain box as you also fall in the same situation as her in her maternal home.

7] The jet set go sister in law- The Hercules of her family always rushing to reachno where. As soon as she enters claims about her super busy schedule and spends some good hours doing the same. She has no such busy schedule but has delusions of being so busy and stuck in life.

8] The Judge- She is the one who could become the Judge, has good analytical powers and is all ears to both the parties and can be a big help to solve any issues. Her decisions are accepted by all and she has a practical view point.

9] The Princess- The princess of the house as soon as she enters the house she starts to give orders. She wants to get all at the comfort of her bed. She keeps calling you and keeps ordering the idea is to keep you busy and show her
supremacy and control over the house.

10] The constant borrower- Well this is an interesting and irritating category. She will need each and every thing from you in spite of the fact that her cabinets are full of stuff still she prefers your stuff over hers. However she never bothers to return them.

Mine is a combination of few of the traits, yours is pure or mixed but please
share your sister in law’s category.

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Can a daughter-in-law is really a daughter

We often consider marriage as a fresh beginning and an association between 2 families. Especially in India people consider marriage very sacred. Bringing a daughter in law to a family is like bringing a daughter. The new girl is received with lots of love and compassion at the new house. The best part is, she is welcomed to be a part of the beautiful big family. This is the rosy side of the picture but often married girls have this question in mind "Is a daughter in law really a daughter". Does she get the same treatment and independence?Read more

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Sibling bond and how to improve it.

The relationship that gives you grief and pleasure together is the sibling bond. This relationship is one of the most important in our lives as we share our upbringing, genes, and secrets too, with all its ups and downs in the relationship.

Being a parent to more than a child involves most of your day managing the frictions and fights between the children. A brother and sister can be great playmates as well as soul mates. Siblings can minimise boredom by provoking, teasing and annoying each other. They are the best of friends and the bitterest of foes.

If you worry a lot about your children's relationship and you wonder if you are the only one then it's time you join the gang. Here are some tips to increase sweet friendship and decrease angry arguments between the children.

It is very important to teach the children how to resolve their own differences. The process is simple when they argue you just need to listen to them and ask them to explain what he or she wants to do.
Not allowing them to argue, blame or make excuses when the other is talking. When they have expressed themselves ask the children to figure out the best possible solution together so that they both can get what they want.

It is not the parent’s job to solve the problem or give them a solution. Our job as parents is to guide them and insist on civility and kindness of working out things. Thus an argument over a television show means that no one gets to watch the TV until the problem is solved which should be solved by the combined efforts of the siblings.

This process meeting time but more this is done with the children the tendency of arguments will resolve quickly and they learn to come to a common decision together.


Some general common rules have to be set at home which is a mandatory thing to be followed by the children. If there are repeated frictions and arguments set some common rules that have to be followed until someone comes up with a better solution of the problem. For example, my children were responsible for emptying the dishwasher. To avoid any kind of conflict half the shelf was emptied by one child and the other half by another. Once I asked if they wanted to switch the shelves which they were responsible for, they did not seem interested as they thought that they had the easier shell to manage.

Comparing the children to each other would nurture the feeling of inferiority complex which would not be good for a then healthy relationship. Instead of comparing, a parent can engage the kids in games where they team up to compete with you. For instance, who can get teeth brushed, change into sleeping clothes and into the bed faster, you or them? Or you can get into a competition to see who cleans the garden full of leaves faster, you or them? The mantra to creating close sibling relationships is to teach the children to tolerate their differences. They should learn to help each other in as many ways to successfully navigate life.

Children are very strongly influenced by their parent's opinion and value the most. They learn what they see their parents doing. It is very important for us as parents to set the best example in front of our kids if we maintain a good relationship with each other, it results in the children learning to maintain one as well. It is very important to make sure to recognize and appreciate valued sibling interactions when they play together to share, help each other or stick up for one another.

The relationship siblings share is one where they get a soulmate, a partner in crime and a best friend. As parents, it is our responsibility to make our kids understand the value of the relationship not sure it and bring the best out of them.

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