The relationship that gives you grief and pleasure together is the sibling bond. This relationship
is one of the most important in our lives as we share our upbringing, genes, and secrets too, with
all its ups and downs in the relationship.
Being a parent to more than a child involves most of your day managing the frictions and fights
between the children. A brother and sister can be great playmates as well as soul mates. Siblings
can minimise boredom by provoking, teasing and annoying each other. They are the best of
friends and the bitterest of foes.
If you worry a lot about your children's relationship and you wonder if you are the only one then
it's time you join the gang. Here are some tips to increase sweet friendship and decrease angry
arguments between the children.
It is very important to teach the children how to resolve their own differences. The process is
simple when they argue you just need to listen to them and ask them to explain what he or she
wants to do.
Not allowing them to argue, blame or make excuses when the other is talking. When they have
expressed themselves ask the children to figure out the best possible solution together so that
they both can get what they want. It is not the parent’s job to solve the problem or give them a
solution. Our job as parents is to guide them and insist on civility and kindness of working out
things. Thus an argument over a television show means that no one gets to watch the TV until
the problem is solved which should be solved by the combined efforts of the siblings.
This process meeting time but more this is done with the children the tendency of arguments will
resolve quickly and they learn to come to a common decision together.
Some general common rules have to be set at home which is a mandatory thing to be followed by
the children. If there are repeated frictions and arguments set some common rules that have to be
followed until someone comes up with a better solution of the problem. For example, my
children were responsible for emptying the dishwasher. To avoid any kind of conflict half the
shelf was emptied by one child and the other half by another. Once I asked if they wanted to
switch the shelves which they were responsible for, they did not seem interested as they thought
that they had the easier shell to manage.
Comparing the children to each other would nurture the feeling of inferiority complex which
would not be good for a then healthy relationship. Instead of comparing, a parent can engage the
kids in games where they team up to compete with you. For instance, who can get teeth brushed,
change into sleeping clothes and into the bed faster, you or them? Or you can get into a
competition to see who cleans the garden full of leaves faster, you or them? The mantra to
creating close sibling relationships is to teach the children to tolerate their differences. They
should learn to help each other in as many ways to successfully navigate life.
Children are very strongly influenced by their parent's opinion and value the most. They learn
what they see their parents doing. It is very important for us as parents to set the best example in
front of our kids if we maintain a good relationship with each other, it results in the children
learning to maintain one as well. It is very important to make sure to recognize and appreciate
valued sibling interactions when they play together to share, help each other or stick up for one
The relationship siblings share is one where they get a soulmate, a partner in crime and a best
friend. As parents, it is our responsibility to make our kids understand the value of the
relationship not sure it and bring the best out of them.